I Woke to Glimpse

February 23, 2009

I woke to glimpse a waxing truth

In dreaming guise but soul of sooth;

Before me, ‘tween God’s singing stars

And Devil’s hellish dog-like roars

I saw four Souls, Essential Man

Sans trifling tongue or tribe or time:

The snuffling piggish snout did snort,

Mouth yumming crumbling slop and chum;

The braying warrior belting cries

‘fore charging bravely ‘to the fray;

The lilting voice of lover’s glowed,

What softly speaking Sophist's knew;

But Man, alone ‘twixt Heav’n and earth,

Man the slave of sorrow and mirth,

Did sing his dreaming phantasy

Alone did tell and hear Story!

Glory to God Alone.

Humilitas

The following is one of my favorite poems by Longfellow, along with a poem ("Humilitas") I wrote in response. Take my antagonistic reply to the Master as a sign of respect, not disdain. -KEDB

Excelsior

By Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

The shades of night were falling fast,
As through an Alpine village passed
A youth, who bore, ‘mid snow and ice,
A banner with the strange device,
Excelsior!

His brow was sad; his eye beneath,
Flashed like a falchion from its sheath,
And like a silver clarion rung
The accents of that unknown tongue,
Excelsior!

In happy homes he saw the light
Of household fires gleam warm and bright;
Above, the spectral glaciers shone,
And from his lips escaped a groan,
Excelsior!

“Try not the Pass!” the old man said;
“Dark lowers the tempest overhead,
The roaring torrent is deep and wide!”
And loud that clarion voice replied,
Excelsior!

“O stay,” the maiden said, “and rest
Thy weary head upon this breast!”
A tear stood in his bright blue eye,
But steel he answered with a sigh,
Excelsior!

“Beware the pine tree’s withered branch!
Beware the awful avalanche!”
This was the peasant’s last Good-night,
A voice replied, far up the height,
Excelsior!

At break of day, as heavenward
The pious monks of Saint Bernard
Uttered the oft-repeated prayer,
A voice cried through the startled air,
Excelsior!

A traveler, by the faithful hound,
Half-buried in the snow was found,
Sill grasping in his hand of ice
The banner with the strange device,
Excelsior!

There in the twilight cold and gray,
Lifeless, but beautiful he lay,
And from the sky, serene and far,
A voice fell, like a falling star,
Excelsior!

Humilitas

By Keith E. D. Buhler
Febraury 2008

To Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

… As morning sun passed mountain crest,
And Alpine town with gold-light dressed,
A pitied youth lay, dead and low,
Who could not say, but coldly showed:
”Humilitas!”

The pious monks of St. Bernard,
Iron-sharp of mind, snow-soft of heart,
Seeing such frozen, foolish pride
Stooped down in prayer, and, tearful, cried:
“Humilitas!”

Quoth maidens: "Father, 'tis no good..."
Quoth peasants: "Look, returns his blood!"
As dead-white hand released its grasp,
The boy's mouth gaped and choked and gasped:
"Humilitas!"

Quoth he: "My fathers, I am well.
Praise Christ, my friends! I come from hell
Where in black serpent's clutch I lay!
He drew back when ‘e heard you pray:
"Humilitas!"

Before the mid-day sun was full
Monks whisked him to St. George Chapel:
"My son, today begins Great Lent.
To prayers! To tears! Let us repent!
Humilitas!"

And from that day 'till Easter morn
In labor was the lad re-born;
No chore too vile, no task too mean,
He sang and scooped the manger clean,
"Humilitas!"

"My son, you're young and in good health;
In flesh revived, now die to self!
We live not 'till we give our life,
By proving full -- to Church or wife --
Humilitas!"

“I promise every day to die;
I’ll seek the maiden as my bride.”
He won her heart, offered a band
Inscribed with Heaven's holy brand:
"Humilitas!"

In autumn, wife gave suckl'ing breast,
While new man’s love grew tireless.
"I know her name, my dear. 'Twill be
That which compels the Trinity:
Humilitas!"

His brow now bright, deep eyes now told
Of joy beyond earth's meagre mold.
A voice like rich, gold clarion rang
Each new morning as he sang:
"Humilitas!"

Glory to God Alone.

Sonnet #1

February 19, 2009

How fair, like two celestial orbs, my dear!

How like the sun and moon -- and yet more bright

For knowledge; for symmetry more lovely-clear!

How shameful then, they should be closed, as night.

Can you not see that virtue's heat and fire

Are warm and happy with a holy glow?

Are you deceived, a girl without her sire,

By petty, pretty vice, and ice-pearls of snow?

When a glorious prince calls, do you sit him down,

Bring him fine red wine and fresh bread, my flower?

Or will you make him wait -- And give a fool's crown,

a kiss, to the porch's tramp, and talk for hours?

It is not comely, leaving sun by moon eclipsed,

My love, to leave my light to dally blindly with those lips.

Glory to God alone.

The Grail

October 20, 2008

To the child of thirsty lips

A chalice wet and chill;

To the fool in Satan's grip

A burning hail of coal.

To the faithful penitent

A twice death-dealing bath;

But to the wild, luxurious men

A bowl of righteous wrath.

As Gabriel's holy mouth once cried

To the Burning Temple, "Hail!"

Behold, you weary, hopeful, child!

The Bloody, Holy Graal!

Glory to God alone.

Swimming in His Will

September, 2007


I'm swimming in his will, where everywhere
Is the center. I am filled -- I overflow!
Cup brimming up, the plenty he shares;
The gift is the presentor. My will grows
Into his will. I give myself to him,
He gives himself to me. Since his mind knows,
Then my mind knows, (though slightly dark and dim).
I do not try. Light... happiness... All flows.
I am a nexus. No pressure, only lightness,
Precious awareness, purest sentiment,
He brings me to the brink of bliss,
Just tipping, slipping... no more intention
As I rest and nestle into his breast
And wedge my will where it will persevere
Silent, unimpressive, unimpressed,
No-where... Here... Nowhere but here, forever.
The faceless ocean deep (all self-fear flees)
Quiet, calls, "Dive in, thrive, and die in peace."

Glory to God Alone

Divine Friendship

September, 2007

She is someone with whom I see one truth,
who could be the Friend,
Or she could be one flower among
The thousand-flower rose garden
You've given me instead of a bouquet
This Valentine's Day.
This banquet is bliss, joy, happiness,
Pure and untouched by hunger.
Any suffering flies like a sled
Off an ice-jump in a cartoon,
And as I philosophize, I fly,
Animals conversing with angels.
And ignorance drops like a well-used rocket
to the ocean, as the ego dissolves
in the atmospheric fire,
And the transhumanized spirit
of the Nazarene in me continues into deep heaven,
Assuming its undisclosed identity,
Claiming the "I" for the very first time,
Swimming in bliss that is not
diminished by endurance
Not dimmed by awareness of pain in others,
Not ending or tapering,
Totally untouched by fear of loss,
Having forsaken all meanness
And limitation; having, rather
Accepted... Having finally surrendered.

There is no greater wisdom than
Cognition of divinity
In every phenomenon,
Every thought, feeling, perception
and deja vu; Every physical object
And mental Form, every principle
of logic, every proposition,
Every dream, image, illusion.
This is life as much as wisdom,
Wisdom as much as life;
Lived as much as known, known as much as lived.
They are sufficient,
Lacking no wealth, no power,
No status and prestige,
No pleasure among the myriad pleasures.
They are inseparable
And they are insuperable,
There being nothing else to be gained,
Desired, or hoped for but this,
Which is a river of knowing
(and steam of unknowing rising )
Flowing out of the Void
Of Uncreated Beyond-beingness
Through this psyche
Out, around, and back through the doorjamb
That I walked past in the hallway
Of the apartment in Huntington Beach,
Meeting itself face-to-face again
In this person's perceptive
Eyebeams. The One who has been given
This wisdom and re-cognition
Converses affably with the Angels at every turn,
Who, like honeybees, each of a different species,
Buzz melodiously in created things.
This crazy joy of waking up is the
The thing I shall like most of all.
But won't the joy of being woken up be greater?
No, being woke up, being finally awake,
Surpasses Joy like the Sunlight
Surpasses the dimmest glum and gloomy ember
In Death Valley,
When joy and self shall merge
And stillness shall reign.
Joy, while it lasts, that fine companion,
Will burn no brighter than while it is waking up.
The state of being awake
Will snuff out that candle with gratitude,
Hearing the words, "Arise, fair one,"
And coming into the joyless ground of joy
The invisible, ineffable ground of sight and speech
The non-existent Ground of Being.
I am but one man. But I am one. I am
With you, and a thousand friends,
Ten thousand sisters of bliss.

Glory to God Alone.

Believe

July 28, 2007

Do not believe everything that you see

Unless the dialog is many and one.

Do not believe the dialog is done,

Unless what you see is one and many,

Glory to God Alone.

Writer's Sphere

July 19th, 2007

In fear, writers sit blocked, and painters idly paint
Blank canvases with gesso of purest white,
Unable to think or see straight, let alone create.

Do not hold your breath tight, panic, or faint;
Do not stare and wear away the empty frame with fright;
Relax, and seek. To see is to make. First, Contemplate.

Glory to God Alone.

An Ode of Thanks to Joy

May 3, 2007

An Ode of Thanks To Joy

Sweet Joy, bitter spite's discontent,
Thou fruit of the Spirit, like Patience and Peace,
Thou for whom Christ his time on earth spent
Suffering... For whom he endured even the cross --

I address thee as a friend. With humility I ask
Thy Spirit to plant and bear in me all good fruits.
But my love for others is my part of the task
Of becoming holy, full of joy and gratitude.

To that end, O Idea of God, would it be amiss
To break silence to express, once, gratitude,
For the brief time spent; for the soul-to-soul kiss,
For that passing in the night that contributes

To my joy? That which we desire wells up
Within. (This is the secret which all wise men cry!)
And yet, drinking from this or that external cup
May stir the taste of internal reality.

Just so, then, Universal Joy, Angelic Light of God,
I praise thy daughter, one part of your Whole --
Her sweet Russian lips, her wit, her body
Smooth; her rich indwelling presence of soul,

Like a dancer, who knows and owns her home.
And I ask thee, Spiritual Gift, give yourself inwardly,
To your sweet daughter, even she without whom
I would not have felt thy light so thoroughly.

One last request, thou unmerited Grace:
Let the echoes of the silence which I herein break
Be rays of lovingkindness that fill the face
Of the beautiful soul that I herein thank.

Thank you, Joy, for being with me, for one
Sixty-second minute of Life's short Day,
Which, like all others, when Time's race is run,
Though redeemed in death, is now passed away.

Glory to God Alone

A Song to Joseph of Cupertino

February 14th, 2007

A Song to Joseph of Cupertino

Flying Joe, teach me your ways!
Teach me your humble, simple grace!
If from high heaven you can find your way,
To be with me on the ground today,
I'll thank you, Joseph, and the Spirit too
Who helps you to forget about you
So entirely that, weightless, you ascend
And float with Christ in the Empyrean!

Glory to God Alone.

One and One Makes Three

October 2, 2006

My sister just had twins. My other sister just found out she is pregnant. This poem is my response to and working out of the powerful emotions involved in being a new parent, and is written from the imaginative perspective of a new father, reflecting on the birth of his first child.


Nine years before we ever met
Were spent with loves (the puppy kind,)
And spent with parents, other friends,
Our other lives, our younger times

Nine days we spent in Waikiki
We watched the sunset every night
We ate in bed, and paid the fees
(The room service was worth it... right?)

Nine minutes from the start to stop
Exhausted, we could not go on
We laughed and tried to smoke, but dropped
The habit just as it began.

Nine seconds wondering why it was good
We broke the rules of going slow
Well, sometimes love can't wait, and should
Be master, we conclude, and glow

Nine months later, to the day
We hug... Fatigue, tranquility
Thank God, she looks like you! I say
For one and one, in love, makes three.

Glory to God Alone.

May 24, 2007

"I wiped the condensation of my 32oz., Coca-Cola.
'Hey thanks, what do I owe you?'
'Don't worry about it,' he said.
And as I smiled and said, "Thank you!" again,
the drink slipped from my hand.
The carpet flooring of the Toyota
absorbed the carbonated liquid,
and I realized how thirsty I actually l was."

"I walked into to work at 11:30, fifteen minutes late,
after dragging myself out of bed. Still groggy, I asked where I would be working today. They said, 'You're not on the schedule.'After double-checking, I saw that I was supposed to work on Tuesday,
and I had Monday off. My co-workers made fun of me, or said they were jealous, but I just laughed. I went home, watched a movie, and slept."

"For thirty-three years, we tried to make it work.
Though, you can't really try for thirty-three years...
We tried twice, maybe three times... Four at the absolute most...
No, we didn't try for thirty years, we gave up for thirty years.
By the end, I could mouth the words, "I love him," if asked by the Home School Association, or his pastor friends.
But mostly l wanted the searing pain of his presence to be removed from my flesh...
I wanted the cool air of freedom.
When he filed the papers, I told him, "I never wanted this! How can you give up on me!?'
He tried to tell me that I had requested them - demanded them! -- not six months ago.
Worthless bastard. I wouldn't have thought him capable of lying, but I suppose, at the end, he was that desperate.
That was three years ago, and I am looking for the love of my life. But, thinking back, he really was a good man."

There is no other human way
To appreciate what you have.

Lose it, by imagination, today;
And, losing, thereby love.

Glory to God Alone.

Contemplating Death

September, 2007

September, Sister death, looking at your face, I see myself
My end, fully developed, having changed its last

The darkness overwhelms all the pleasures
The silly jokes, the mirth, the parties, the cute girls
The card games, and silver medals, the ping-pong on Mondays,
The delectable desserts, Apple Cobbler and Fudge Fudge brownie,

And yet, it leaves me satisfied. You are the gateway to life.
Vainity falls away. Good riddance.
I am a marble statue, faint, indistinct, colorless,
And you teach me to be a real boy.

Glory to God Alone.

We must not complain

September 1st, 2007

I see the lofty forest foilage
And the layered city lights
Speckled across panaramic views
I see air shimmering at nightI see death,
my sweet impending doom
We must not complain about our age

Glory to God Alone

Fear of Death

December 20, 2006

For long, my fear was for nothing but death;
I looked my black end in the face.
To my disgrace,
I turned, ignored, and hid, or tried,
But could not hide
My beating pulse, and quick'ning of my breath.

Though the quiet He came to me
And offered kindly, godly hand:
"Ascend, my friend."
And to my soul, enslaved and weak,
Did he softly speak:
"Abide, abide, and I will make you free."

O death, will you approach? Immanuel
Is holding me, arms out-stretched wide,
As I abide
Upon his breast, hands, bloody, clasped...
Short, tortured gasps...
Then silence. "He descended into hell."

The cold, dark silence proves he is a fraud!
Leaving his sons, three days in fear,
He disappeared.
All but one did lie, or hid from men
And from their sin.
But one beloved stayed beside his God.

'O Death, thou wast once an uncouth hideous thing,'
But blood and dust have made thee fair!
Now who will fear
Thy sting? Where is thy victory?
No, thou, with me
Are on the cross, and raised again!

The nutshell dies; And, now alive, awakes
The tender, fresh-born center part;
Just so, my heart.
Bestirred and soft and newly-seeing,
A new-born being
Emerges, blinking, as light that early breaks.

Then I, his pupil, heard the truth, and Hark!
All times seen but go and die,
But seeing eyes
Remain to see each fresh-born time
Fall into line.
Ah! the school of life, like light, dispels the dark!

For I am I, my eye is I! I see
Therefore I am! And what am I?
His apple-eye --
He who lives and loves to revive
Our fleeting lives
'Till, dying, becoming, we come to be.

For he does not his precious pupils leave,
Those black and fresh-born center parts
Within his heart;
But plucks a plank out his own eye
Blood-tears to cry
To vivify and heal by blood and grief.

My breath becalms, as does my beating pulse,
And now my black end I may face,
Thanks to his grace!
For fear has been cast out by love.
A gentle dove
Descends to coo, and woo my fresh-washed soul.

And though his deepest brilliance is concealed
From my weak eyes, I climb each rung
Like those among
The cloud of seers beyond the grave
Who sing his praise
With me, 'till I'm in him revealed.

O Life, who made this dust alive with breath,
Please show me through, from black to black,
Not looking back
But facing you, who are so bright
That I am blind
'Till I, by grace, am joined with you in death.


Glory to God Alone.

Babel

Text erects a flexible tower, stretching to the heavens.
Ancient armies spread their shields and arms in lines.
Kings and queens gather greed like sheep-shorn bundles,
Make plans, stake out land, do what they can to win, but then:

Self-lies and pride wreck what's left of their pitiful tries,
And this leftover mess is the best men hope for;
For the less men hope for, the better,
For this fetter attacks the jugular,

And this treasure attracts only burglars and moths,
This crucible tacks nails into the faithful like a hateful Centurian within
This thorn in our side may be worn with pride, for pride's sake,
But the bride's safety depends on who wins, and who dies,
And for whose sake who dies when they die,

Words outstretched like arms,
That fly where the never expected the text to fly.

Elemental Songs

The man of earth, from dusty ground
Is body, filled with breath
In eighty years, or therearound
He'll lose his dust to death.
The man of God must learn from dirt
Which comes and goes to earth
His spirit must to God return
And, dying, find new birth

As water lifts from deep blue sea
To misty clouds, which rain
The selfsame drop eternally
Flies home and dies again.
Just so must he who loves his God
Being born of Spirit and Father
Float up, and be poured into, God
Becoming living water

Air flows with an easy grace
Back and forth and back
Torn throughout the West and East
It yet remains intact
Just so does he who loves his God
Wander without a care
Until he's called back unto God
Becoming purest air

Flame alights an arrow's head
Before it quickly flies
To flaming fields of burning dead
Where it, too, quickly dies.
Just so does he loves his God
Emerge and move the same,
Until he lands and lives in God,
Becoming burning flame

Quiet Star

A book in hand, a friend or three..
A quiet, undistracted place:
A recipe for quiet glee,
A meal of simple, common grace.

We ate this meal, one evening clear,
As she first shone, that Evening Star
who first in blue-black sky appears...
In fact, she joined us from, afar,

She sat down right there in between
My friends, as if 'twere no big deal,
And mused about philosophy
To us while we enjoyed our meal:

"Have you ever noticed, friends,
That, though it's quiet when you're alone,
When silent, and with several friends,
The silence is of a deeper tone?

Prayer for Interior Martyrdom

I want you, Christ, in me to raise anew
I do not want the holy God to spurn,
I want to be on fire with love for you,
But, Lord, I do not want my heart to burn!
Since servants are no better than their guide,
Young Stephen died upon a cross, like Christ.
For "greater things" does greater deaths imply,
Thus Christians do; thus, too, they sacrafice.
As Stephen did not only die of piercing nail
But burning flame that licked his flesh to coal,
So let me be a martyr, drawn and pale,
But caught with fire that rather kills the soul.
The burning bush was burned and not consumed
So let me burn and live, in You exhumed.

I Am Small and But a Man

I am small, and but a man, my heart in twain
A house divided cannot stand, nor vice
Win the pearly circle: white-virtue's crown;
That vast, spectacular seat, with Christ.

But small although, though small I go, I go,
Down the middle, down the spiral deep'ning
Where all specks, electrons, and young mites grow
Hidden, all in invisible light circl'ing

Glory-fire flashes in the recess!
And from that single spout the black surge flows
And bubbling up, draws me back to vastness
He, shrinking, grows; unknowing, finally knows.